I just brought a rusting, grimy Huffy Bay-Watch bike with a big, ridiculous-looking dented basket on the front for 50 bucks from an middle aged pothead on Pico. I think it's blue, but it's hard to tell. Los Angeles here I come.
Labels:
exploring
Every now and then I rediscover how much I love to read, which typically involves reading 10 or so books in the space of a week in an orgiastic attempt to make up for lost time, checking books out, reading them rapidly during class or otherwise shunting aside prior obligations to read, and returning them within hours.
This time I'm obsessed with Isaac Asimov, his fiction and his life. Some interesting details: A full time tenured professor of biochemistry at Columbia, and also one of the most prolific science fiction and science nonfiction writers ever while being the vice president of Mensa. He was also a member of some sherlock holmes societies, wrote mock science articles, and made a pact with his rival science fiction writer that involved the both of them declaring the other the best science fiction writer in the world, as long as they both declared themselves the second best writer. This guy seemed to had a great time being really incredible smart.
I had a great time with I, Robot. Each story is sort of a mental puzzle that is immensely satisfying to figure out, or barring that extremely pleasant to watch unfold. He always surprises me, and I especially didn't expect it when he incorporated Descarte into a story about really awesome robots.
This time I'm obsessed with Isaac Asimov, his fiction and his life. Some interesting details: A full time tenured professor of biochemistry at Columbia, and also one of the most prolific science fiction and science nonfiction writers ever while being the vice president of Mensa. He was also a member of some sherlock holmes societies, wrote mock science articles, and made a pact with his rival science fiction writer that involved the both of them declaring the other the best science fiction writer in the world, as long as they both declared themselves the second best writer. This guy seemed to had a great time being really incredible smart.
I had a great time with I, Robot. Each story is sort of a mental puzzle that is immensely satisfying to figure out, or barring that extremely pleasant to watch unfold. He always surprises me, and I especially didn't expect it when he incorporated Descarte into a story about really awesome robots.
Labels:
Reading
This says everything.
"A man of knowledge is one who has followed truthfully the hardships of learning, a man who has, without rushing or without faltering, gone as far as he can in unraveling the secrets of power and knowledge. To become a man of knowledge one must challenge and defeat his four natural enemies.
When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning.
He slowly begins to learn--bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.
And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: fear! A terrible enemy--treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest and he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully, or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings.
It is not possible for a man to abandon himself to fear for years, then finally conquer it. If he gives in to fear he will never conquer it, because he will shy away from learning and never try again. But if he tries to learn for years in the midst of his fear, he will eventually conquer it because he will never have really abandoned himself to it.
Therefore he must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.
When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy. It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast. Once a man has vanquished fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because, instead of fear, he has acquired clarity--a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate the new steps of learning and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed."
Procrastination isn't laziness. It's not something to brag about, or even something you can dismiss as trivial. You only delay the inevitable when you are afraid.
"A man of knowledge is one who has followed truthfully the hardships of learning, a man who has, without rushing or without faltering, gone as far as he can in unraveling the secrets of power and knowledge. To become a man of knowledge one must challenge and defeat his four natural enemies.
When a man starts to learn, he is never clear about his objectives. His purpose is faulty; his intent is vague. He hopes for rewards that will never materialize for he knows nothing of the hardships of learning.
He slowly begins to learn--bit by bit at first, then in big chunks. And his thoughts soon clash. What he learns is never what he pictured, or imagined, and so he begins to be afraid. Learning is never what one expects. Every step of learning is a new task, and the fear the man is experiencing begins to mount mercilessly, unyieldingly. His purpose becomes a battlefield.
And thus he has stumbled upon the first of his natural enemies: fear! A terrible enemy--treacherous, and difficult to overcome. It remains concealed at every turn of the way, prowling, waiting. And if the man, terrified in its presence, runs away, his enemy will have put an end to his quest and he will never learn. He will never become a man of knowledge. He will perhaps be a bully, or a harmless, scared man; at any rate, he will be a defeated man. His first enemy will have put an end to his cravings.
It is not possible for a man to abandon himself to fear for years, then finally conquer it. If he gives in to fear he will never conquer it, because he will shy away from learning and never try again. But if he tries to learn for years in the midst of his fear, he will eventually conquer it because he will never have really abandoned himself to it.
Therefore he must not run away. He must defy his fear, and in spite of it he must take the next step in learning, and the next, and the next. He must be fully afraid, and yet he must not stop. That is the rule! And a moment will come when his first enemy retreats. The man begins to feel sure of himself. His intent becomes stronger. Learning is no longer a terrifying task.
When this joyful moment comes, the man can say without hesitation that he has defeated his first natural enemy. It happens little by little, and yet the fear is vanquished suddenly and fast. Once a man has vanquished fear, he is free from it for the rest of his life because, instead of fear, he has acquired clarity--a clarity of mind which erases fear. By then a man knows his desires; he knows how to satisfy those desires. He can anticipate the new steps of learning and a sharp clarity surrounds everything. The man feels that nothing is concealed."
Procrastination isn't laziness. It's not something to brag about, or even something you can dismiss as trivial. You only delay the inevitable when you are afraid.
During the course of striving indecently to kill UCLA economics before it kills me, I don't get much time to stop, sit, and think about who I am, and how much I've changed.
When I was in high school, I told myself, "Never grow up!" All around me, I saw old people trapped by their choices because they were afraid to step off of their chosen paths. I told myself never to fear the possibility of giving up and starting over. My happiness would be my highest value, and I'd do anything to preserve it. I was going to be different - happy.
I've received a heavy dosage of reality since then, and I've changed. I don't have much fun any more. I've tried to walk the path of an ascetic careerist, slaking my thirst for happiness with accumulated success. I try comfort myself with the thought that once I graduate and find a job, I'll be able to lead a fulfilling life in my spare time.
But it's time to remember that path I saw for myself so many years ago. The world is the way it is, but I won't let it stop me from being who I am. Life is not meant to be lived in your spare time.
I want to live a chaotic life without routine. I want to be poor. I want to be rich. I want to go as many places as I can and see as much as I can and write about it so I'll never forget about it. I want to do something useful with my brain. I will never, ever do work that keeps me alive but kills my soul, and I believe that there's good, productive work to do somewhere that can actually make people's lives better. I refuse to care about the kind of stuff I have. I want hundreds of friends all over the world. When I'm 40, I hope I'm still talking trash to Will and Weier and Ian and Kevin.
Right now I'm a student, and a pretty good one. I'm good at thinking, at being interested, and I'm endlessly curious. I want to cram as much knowledge as will fit in my brain. I'm intelligent, compassionate, personable, and strong. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and though I'm trying very hard to figure it out, I'm completely fine with not knowing.
When I was in high school, I told myself, "Never grow up!" All around me, I saw old people trapped by their choices because they were afraid to step off of their chosen paths. I told myself never to fear the possibility of giving up and starting over. My happiness would be my highest value, and I'd do anything to preserve it. I was going to be different - happy.
I've received a heavy dosage of reality since then, and I've changed. I don't have much fun any more. I've tried to walk the path of an ascetic careerist, slaking my thirst for happiness with accumulated success. I try comfort myself with the thought that once I graduate and find a job, I'll be able to lead a fulfilling life in my spare time.
But it's time to remember that path I saw for myself so many years ago. The world is the way it is, but I won't let it stop me from being who I am. Life is not meant to be lived in your spare time.
I want to live a chaotic life without routine. I want to be poor. I want to be rich. I want to go as many places as I can and see as much as I can and write about it so I'll never forget about it. I want to do something useful with my brain. I will never, ever do work that keeps me alive but kills my soul, and I believe that there's good, productive work to do somewhere that can actually make people's lives better. I refuse to care about the kind of stuff I have. I want hundreds of friends all over the world. When I'm 40, I hope I'm still talking trash to Will and Weier and Ian and Kevin.
Right now I'm a student, and a pretty good one. I'm good at thinking, at being interested, and I'm endlessly curious. I want to cram as much knowledge as will fit in my brain. I'm intelligent, compassionate, personable, and strong. I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and though I'm trying very hard to figure it out, I'm completely fine with not knowing.
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