Damn It, Television

I've never watched much tv. I had cable access to the internet since I was about 12 years old and before that I preferred books. But over this summer I've been working over 20 hours a week at Young Research Library (paltry length of time for most but not for my soft, unlined hands) and I have now experienced the fully body torpor that takes hold when you get home from a shitty day at work. The average person(me) wants 2 things after they get off of work: food of some sort, with cheese on it, and to forget that they just spent the whole day completing boring, repetitive tasks. This combination of desires is essentially a mathematical equation that sums to tv and hot pockets.

So long story short, I've been watching more tv than I have ever watched in my entire life. It's been a whirlwind summer full of self discovery and enlightenment. But mostly rage.

TV enrages me. I hate reality TV, late night tv journalism, everything on E!, and I really hate that stupid exclamation point at the end of E!. But the last straw is commercials. Commercials really enrage me, to the point that I can't watch commercials - I'm too sensitive of the effect that it's trying to have on me and I just complain incessantly. It's probably pretty awful watching tv with me.

Carl jr is a consistent offender.



"HA HA Big Mac has a Jingle, that's so fucking lame!" What the fuck is this shit, I ask you? What are you expecting me to think? "Sorry McDonald's, that big mac is a really classic sandwich and all and I'd eat one except I'M NOT A PUSSY." Mostly what I hate is the tone of the announcer's voice. It's like he's announcing a professional wrestling match. It's just a goddamn hamburger.

Then this:



CARL JR'S WANTS ME TO SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO HAMBURGERS. I don't have anything to say about this.

The way things are marketed today is terribly fucked up. My rant is pointless because this stuff works and everyone who watched the above videos is probably extremely hungry or horny or both right now.

As for the FreeCreditReport.com commercials, I have no specific complaints. They don't appeal to my base instincts or anything. I just really want to strangle that guy.