Sleeping is for Quitters

I am fixated on the idea of college.

We live in a tiny enclosed community until we graduate, then we set out in all directions for college, imagining that we are exhibiting some kind of agency, some autonomy over the volatile variation of life, but in reality we're just throwing ourselves upon the mercy of a vast, multifarious machine. College happens to us, like a gigantic wrecking ball crashing into a building, and the only agency we have is the right to pick up the pieces when what we've built is inevitably destroyed.

I know that this right is more than most have, but this constant destruction and reinvention is painful to experience and to watch.

Some of us get lost and never find ourselves again. Some of us find a cause, something greater to be a part of. Some of us put on masks that we never remove again for the rest of our lives. Some of us find love, and some of us grow to hate it. Some of us discover dreams, and even fewer of us find the courage to pursue it.

We, young, bright-eyed, and hopeful, mortgage our lives to gamble on the future, and the investment doesn't always pay off.

Sorry. I am an unrealistic person with an overactive consciousness who sometimes drinks too much coffee.

ANYWAYS, time to study.